Creating The Cliched “New Normal”

It’s been 4 weeks since I received the great news that the cancer is gone. It has been an adjustment to find what “normal” is. I still haven’t found it. For the first few weeks it was still strange to make plans to do anything because for 7 months my life has been controlled by a schedule of 3 weeks. One bad week, one good week and one week away. I really only did things during the good week. My life will never have the normal, whatever that was, that it had before this cancer diagnosis and that’s OK.

How Could I Be Stronger During Treatment Than After?

I know this experience has provided me with lessons and experiences that are valuable and will impact how I live the rest of my life. I’m working through the transition now. I have talked to the research nurse and she has expressed that the effects of chemo stay for a while. Some of my scattered thinking and fatigue are very normal lasting effects from the chemo. Personally I thought I would leave Houston and I would feel like I did before I had cancer. I know that sounds ridiculous to read, but why would I have expected to feel any other way? I think I am allowing myself to take more of a break after cancer. I felt like a stronger runner during chemo. I think about running a half marathon now and it seems overwhelming to me. I ran 2 while going through treatment.  I’m not sure what I was thinking but I am glad I didn’t know any different and went for it.

I haven’t been running much. I want to get back to it and need to get back running. I ran today a 2 mile loop that I do on occasion. It felt great.  I have had some disastrous runs in the past few weeks. I decided to make today’s a short one so that I had a chance of succeeding.  It wasn’t an easy run but it was great because I was out there and did it. When I start the morning with a run I feel healthier all day I always remember the saying from when I first started exercising “you almost always regret exercise you don’t do, but you rarely regret exercise you do”.  I think about that often when I am dreading going for a run. It makes me get going.