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This blog was originally started in 2011 when I was diagnosed with my first cervical cancer diagnosis. It was really a means for keeping my family and friends updated but now I want to share it with other so…welcome to yo cancer! Life has changed so much since those initial posts, but the content is still relevant. Science has evolved but so many of the aspects of dealing with a cancer diagnosis have not. My goal now is for my journey to reach others who need hope. Hope during cancer is something that hasn’t, and will not change. I’ve moved all of the posts from past recurrences, yes plural, over to this site in hopes that they can be a resource to others who are either facing a diagnosis or helping a loved one through a diagnosis.

Negativity

In addition to the need for hope, another thing that hasn’t changed is how I feel about cancer. This would be the perfect place for the popular catchphrase “cancer sucks”, it does, but I still believe in not giving it power in my life. Negativity is what it feeds on. Let’s not help it grow. Living with and through a cancer diagnosis is heavy. Some days are worse than others. My journey wasn’t puppies and cupcakes but focusing on those days, or even moments isn’t helpful. I look at life facing forward, not in the rearview, and hope that these posts help you to do the same. I get asked cancer questions frequently so my goal will be for this space to be about dealing with cancer in general and not specific to my diagnosis. Please subscribe and join me on this journey.

Fast forward to 2020 – my life in a nutshell – cancer, love, and children.

More cancer?

How much more can there be?  Two more with several shifts in treatment so it’s more like five in my mind. The most recent recurrence in 2018 has taken me on several treatment journeys which I will share specific details in a separate post. The science is fascinating and constantly evolving which I will hopefully not need but am always grateful there are options.

Maintenance

My cancer is not gone, but the tumors are really small, and even better, they are stable. They haven’t grown in over a year. I’m on maintenance chemo that I hope to be on for a very long time.  It’s working and if it keeps me alive, I’m all in for doing it every three weeks for the rest of my hopefully, very long life. Sharing that I have had so many recurrences is a double edge sword for me. I don’t want others to let the thoughts that they could have a recurrence occupy their mind. Having said that, I think every cancer patient thinks about recurrence whether they know about mine or not. The flip side is that I’m living proof that not only do recurrences happen but that there are options for treatment beyond the standard of care options if they do.

Divorce

Another change in my life is that I am divorced.   I don’t think it’s uncommon for a marriage to suffer after a cancer diagnosis.  I just Googled so I could reference a number but there weren’t very current stats.  However, the topic is plentiful so it’s obviously a thing.  The upside of this is that I have a wonderful man in my life who has been a rock through some grueling treatments. Impressive he didn’t run, or maybe more impressive he was willing to roll the dice and date a cancer survivor in the first place. That sounds like a blog entry of its own.   Bottom line, I’m happy. Very happy.

Mom first, cancer second

Last but not least, my sons have grown up!  Matthew is 23 and a college graduate.  Ethan is 19 and a freshman in college. They’ve had their challenges with cancer playing a role in their lives, but they have gained life skills through the process. This summer I virtually participated (because it is 2020!) in college orientation for Ethan.  I’m at a loss for the questions the parents have been asking on their children’s behalf.  I’ve said it to the boys before, but this process compelled me to say it to them again, “I hope you both feel like you were raised with life skills.  Some of the reasons you have some of the skills aren’t great but I’m glad you have them”.  If they can’t figure out where to get their hair cut when they get to school, we have bigger problems.  Yes, a parent asked that at orientation.

Let’s stay in touch

Thank you for taking the time to get acquainted or re-acquainted. I often say I don’t like the reason I’m connected to so many of my “random” friends, i.e. cancer, but I’m thankful for all of the people I’ve met on this journey. Let’s do this together.   Let’s connect on Facebook and Instagram .