As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I often get upset getting ready to go to Houston. Yesterday was no exception. It was worse than normal. I cried a lot. The anxiety of getting here and knowing what is ahead of me was tough. I know I sound like a broke record about that but it is tough and getting tougher. It still is this morning but I’m ready to get going and get home and start the healing.

The Tears Didn’t Stop

I cried when the plane landed. Fortunately I was wearing my mask so could hide behind that a bit. After checking into the hotel we went to the hospital to get blood drawn. When I was in the chair I started crying. Most all of the phlebotomists seem to have a very strong faith. Lots of signs, etc on their walls about faith and strength. The woman asked me if I was OK. I told her that I just didn’t want to be here doing this. She was sweet and gave me a little sermon. When I left there I went to the chapel and cried it out while talking to God. I felt a little better after.

Practicing What I Preach – Make Your Mind Strong

Leaving there I worked on my mental exercises. I got it out and now needed to be strong and move on. I had my breakdown and now it was time to put it behind me and start fresh. We went to dinner, had a delicious glass of wine which helped, and was in bed by about 8:30.

Being More Prayerful During Lent

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I didn’t give anything up. Instead, I have decided I would be more prayerful. I haven’t been during this process. I think I have written about that. I have felt the prayers of so many of my friends and family which have been comforting and haven’t prayed for myself. Part of me just hasn’t known what to pray for and in an odd way I feel greedy praying for myself. I need to get past that and wil try to do so during Lent.

I Can’t Stop The Inevitable So Let’s Get Going

I didn’t sleep great but that’s OK. I’ll sleep plenty today. I’m ready to get going now. No choice and crying about it won’t help. There is help on the way. I’ll let my body rest and soak in the poison today. We have an early flight tomorrow so I’ll be home in bed and the healing will take place.

I Can See The Downhill

Today I feel strong. I will chat with the nurses like I do when I’m here and act silly. Not like a cancer patient. Barbara asked me to do a headstand at the fish tank. Of course my shirt today is the race shirt from the half marathon this past weekend. If I struggle today I will think if the hills from the weekend and that there is a downhill on the other side. I will also think of the wheelchair racer and find strength is what she did. I can do this one inch at a time if I have to, just like she did.