Thankful For More Than The Obvious

This year I am thankful. Period. Everyone on Facebook is doing a month-long daily chronicle of what they are thankful for. I love seeing all of the posts but especially the ones that are beyond the obvious, family, friends, etc. Instead of posting a daily update, I will write about here. I am thankful for life experiences and yes, cancer.

How Can I Be Thankful For cancer?

In 2002 when I was facing thyroid surgery I knew there was the potential that it could be cancerous. I prayed that I would be OK if God wanted to give me thyroid cancer to save someone else from breast cancer. He did. It was a manageable treatment. I’m not sure how much my life changed after or how I changed. Eighteen months later I must not have learned the lesson God intended and I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

That one was much scarier to me than the thyroid diagnosis. It seemed more serious to me. After recovering from surgery that time I remember thinking that I felt differently. I changed more with that diagnosis. I think I learned to not “sweat the small stuff” as much. That’s saying a lot from a type A, task-driven personality. I was not totally laid back, by ANY means, but I do think I laughed more and let things slide a little more. I was grateful to cancer for the changes in my outlook at life. I don’t know, or if I’m being honest, really think they were noticeable to anyone else, but I felt it.

Maybe I Need To Be A Better Student

When I found the swollen lymph node in July I wondered if maybe I had been slipping and God felt that I didn’t really get the lesson the first two times. I shared that with a friend. Her take – maybe someone else would, or needed to, learn a lesson from my recurrence with cancer. Either way, I know there is lesson in this.

I can honestly say that I’m thankful for having cancer. It has already taught me a few things. I am stronger than cancer and stronger than I thought I could ever be. There is a reason I have cancer. I don’t know what, but I accept that there is a reason. I’m also not saying that I am enjoying this. It’s tiring and the bad days are bad.

Thankful Yet Dreading What’s To Come

I don’t want to go to Houston and start the process again. For the past few days, I have forgotten that I have cancer. It’s been nice. Something hit me today that reminded me I have to go to Houston next week. Next week. It seems too soon. Uggh. I don’t want to go but it’s not an option. I have had such good days since last Thursday that I think I want them just to continue and not have the sick week again. But the reality is that I have to do it for at least 3 more visits. Maybe more. Who knows.

Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving.