Why do We Give cancer More Power Than It Deserves?
If you Google “cancer patient” words like “stage 4”, “dying”, and “sad” are some of the first you see. Wouldn’t it be great if the first words were “hope”, “survivor”, “research”? Why do we give cancer so much power? Maybe Google can work on the algorithm to accommodate my request!
There’s No Big c Here
You may notice that I do not capitalize cancer in this blog. If you find it capitalized blame it on chemo brain. I don’t think cancer is worthy of the power of a big c. cancer is not “The Big c” to me. It’s a worthy opponent that can be beaten. It’s not bigger than me or you. When you are facing cancer, stand tall. Puff out your chest, you are a force that cancer should fear.
Really Bad And Rare cancer
When people reach out to me because a loved one has been diagnosed the first things they tell me are that the cancer is “really bad” and oftentimes they say it’s “rare”. I’ve become a bit immune to those descriptions. When you or a loved one is diagnosed with cancer it is really bad. Period. Even if it’s the “best” cancer to have, which is what I was told when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2002. It’s bad. cancer is cancer. It’s all “really bad”. The word alone is scary.
As far as the description of the cancer being “rare”, of course, that may be true but it doesn’t mean that you should give up. Whether it’s rare or not doesn’t necessarily make it better or worse. I think there are cases where people stop listening after they hear the doctor say that their cancer is the less common, or a more rare type of that cancer. The thing to remember is that doesn’t mean that they’ve never seen it or don’t know how to treat it. Insert HOPE.
Worry And The Power Of cancer
Of course, there is worry when diagnosed with cancer. It’s normal, right? Who wouldn’t worry? According to the following WebMD article “Chronic worry and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems”. According to the article, there are many ways we can help to alleviate stress including exercise, eating healthy, meditation, and therapy.
When dealing with cancer it is work and has to be a conscious effort to work through the stress and worry. Making your mind stronger than the cancer is imperative. Early in my journey, I had a conversation with a friend who said I didn’t seem down or stressed. At the time I told her that I knew worrying would give cancer strength and that wasn’t my goal. Don’t get me wrong, I worried but I also exercised and spent time with positive people in my life. My goal was to make my mind stronger than the cancer could have ever hoped to be. If you give it an inch it will take a mile so don’t give it an inch. Acknowledge the worry or stress and then move on knowing that you have more power over cancer. You’re the boss.
cancer Treatments Have Changed
Another thing to remember when you or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer is that it isn’t an automatic death sentence. I’m 53 years old and when I was growing up and heard someone was diagnosed with cancer there weren’t the options and science that there are today. So much has changed. Let’s let go of giving up before we know what we are facing and relinquishing the power to cancer when diagnosed.
You will likely feel a little better when you hear the options the doctor has available. If your doctor doesn’t seem to have options for you, be your own advocate. Start looking for clinical trials that you may qualify for. This article outlines why and how you should look. Over the course of my seven diagnoses, I have always felt better when I 1) knew I had options and 2) had a plan. Don’t fill in the blanks without having all of the information.
Apples And Oranges
After the initial shock, and as you’re facing treatment that very well may be brutal, remember that it doesn’t mean the treatment WILL be brutal. Don’t start in the hole mentally before you actually start the treatment. There are mental strength exercises I do to help with this. If you haven’t already, this is when you need to perfect your positive self-talk. Think about what you would say to your friend if the tables were turned, and how you are different than other patients. Think about what good it will do to emphasize the negative. That’s right, zero.
There have been many times that I’ve sat in a waiting room and looked around and told myself, I’m an orange…these people are apples. Why am I an orange? Maybe it’s because in my mind I’m the only one who went for a walk that morning, or went to the gym, or maybe it’s as simple as I’m the one sitting there thinking that I’m an orange. It’s empowering but you have to believe the reasons why you’re an orange.
If you start in a position of power over the cancer and over the potentially grueling treatment your chances of staying in that position of power are better than if you don’t. Simple as that. Throughout the process, you will have to remind yourself of why you are strong and why you know you can do this. That’s not always easy because as you face each treatment you will know the process and what to expect which is definitely a time where ignorance can be bliss. The important thing is that if you do start to go down the rabbit hole, acknowledge it and turn around. Think about what you would say to a friend and that you are an orange.
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