cancer Hasn’t Changed My Ability To Do Laundry

A cancer diagnosis hasn’t changed my need for control. Today is an ok day. A little tired from processing what is going on. Had a nice phone conversation this morning with a college roommate. I feel so loved. What I don’t want to feel is babied. I want to be able to do the laundry and all of the other lovely chores I normally do. I can control laundry when so much of my life is out of control.

 

Tears Come With a cancer Diagnosis

Anyway, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things for lunch after Matthew’s basketball game. Because I am there every day I have “friends” who work there. One sweet friend who works at the check out asked what happened to my neck. I told her and told her I have cancer. We talked about it matter of factly for a little.

As I was getting ready to leave she started to cry which of course, made me cry. I don’t mind the tears. Most of you know that I am a crier and I’m ok with tears. I didn’t expect hers. It’s strange when people get upset when I tell them. I’m not sure if they are tearful because they think I am going to die, which is the first thing I think they are thinking or if they are upset because they are sad that I am going to have to fight this. It doesn’t really matter why people get upset. I feel honored that they care enough to be upset about what is happening to me. In some cases, I’m sure people are upset because cancer has touched them in a way that they don’t want to relive.     

 

The Need to Run

I can’t run for another 3 days but I have a big need to exercise for my mental strength and attitude. I think I would be exhausted from a mile at this point. But I want to run. I want to move, I want to feel the energy.  Maybe Thursday I will run for a few miles. I need to be alone on the road with my thoughts and sweat it out a bit.