This Is Not The Time To Be Weak

Today we went to MD Anderson to meet the head and neck surgeon and hopefully get some treatment answers. We still don’t know exactly what cancer it is, but Dr. Milas feels strongly that my thyroid cancer is back. How can that be if I don’t have a thyroid? My body has made thyroid cells that have found a home in other parts of my body. Now to find out where.

We brought my biopsy slides from DeLand. Pathology at MD Anderson will look at them. I needed blood work to check thyroid levels. Also, he wants me to have testing including an ultrasound and CT scan with contrast of my neck and chest. Blood work was done today. Will have u/s and CT scan on Wednesday then see the dr at 4:15. Then we will know if it’s the thyroid cancer and what the plan is.

Today Dr. Milas put a scope up my nose and down my throat. A little repulsive, but it was ok. I kind of wanted to cry during it. Sean said I laughed. I remember thinking that I have to be tough through this stuff. If I am weak now, wow, it will be a long road. It really wasn’t that bad, just gross. Anyway, that was to see my vocal cords. If I remember correctly, he wanted to see my vocal cords so if he has to do surgery he wants to be sure they are good to start with. I think I laughed during it when I said that Sean might tell him to turn them off.

Radical Neck Dissection is a BIG Surgery

If this in fact my thyroid cancer returning the plan will be to surgically remove the lymph nodes, which the Dr said would be a BIG surgery. When Sean asked how big – he looked at him and said BIG. He said he didn’t want to discuss that with us until he knew if that was the plan. Today’s info was enough to process. I agree. I asked about chemo and radiation. Those are not treatments for thyroid cancer. Surgery and radioactive iodine.

Worrying Will Give The cancer Strength

When we left Sean asked me how I felt about today. Truly, my answer is no different than yesterday. I still don’t have definitive answers. I feel strong. I feel positive. I can do this. I told Nicole today that worrying and stress will only give the cancer strength to multiply and have life. That is not my goal

Emotionally Drained

Thank you to everyone who has texted, emailed, and called. I love you all. I may not return your messages quickly but I am receiving them. I’m best on text or email. I’m tired often and surprisingly tired when I talk so please don’t think that I don’t want to talk to you. I’m just tired. Tired emotionally and tired in a strange way. My body is definitely fighting. When I nap during the day, it’s a different nap than what I have felt in the past. It’s a very deep sleep and tough to wake up.